V-man
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- Jan 25, 2009
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Whether I love hate or am indifferent about a band I can be a junky for recording documentaries. So I said “screw it” and put it on.
Background bias: Slippery was a huge album in Jr High and one of the gateway drugs to ”hair” with Poison before quickly abandoning all that nonsense for thrash. I have never heard a thing from them since Bad Medicine and the It’s My Life hit and my life does not seem lacking in any way over it. I think Ritchie is a good guitarist as is Phil. I have also heard JBJ is a complete asshole more than once though I cannot remember the circumstances why, though I have been willing to believe it. Maybe some of this filters my viewing experience, maybe not.
Review: Arguably the worst musical docs I recall seeing.
It’s not my dislike for Bon Jovi [band]. I had enjoyed Pearl Jam’s doc (hating them) and Grohl’s Sound City doc, caring little for the famous artists showcased. They were just well done and about the bands and or/music. This was merely a self-indulgent interview of JBJ with clips and cameos interspersed to keep you from falling asleep or hitting stop.
Why the fuck is Michael Strahan interviewing him?! Nothing against the former athlete, but there is nothing relevant about him as relating to JBJ, Bon Jovi, or music. He seems to be an affable recognizable face to add some clout as the canned, boring and predictable “what was it like starting out” questions were fed to him. The amusing part was how JBJ used him as a vehicle to deliver half a dozen athletic parallels about the band “getting back in the game/on the field” etc.
Without knowing the man/band that well, it is evident there is something inherently dishonest, insincere, perhaps even sleazy with this production. There is ZERO current footage of JBJ and any other member together, each either being interviewed separately and/or via canned footage from 10-30 years ago. He responds to the canned questions like Stallone, using big words often inaptly if not incorrectly to show he has a command of a polysyllabic vocabulary: thus, intellect.
There is no mention of his cousin who was noteworthy in the record business who I believe also helped him out and nary a candid quip in 40 years about any ruffled feathers or such stories in the band. He swears “there’s no animosity” in a weirdly obtuse and roundabout way and Ritchie’s equally subdued and evasive confirmations have convinced me he is afraid of JBJ, either legally or otherwise.
My favorite part is at the end where JBJ shoehorns the fact that he’s a philanthropist and the band is merely a vehicle for him, but isn’t *really* what keeps him going… (then why a 30 sec blurb about it amidst a full “documentary” about the band, liar?) No montage of him playing w his kids or gardening or whatever BS he is making up… just the “it sounds right sort of statement to round things out” for the conclusion.
The two actual highlights for me was when he spoke of losing his voice and fighting to recapture and recuperate -the only genuine element presented of an aging star trying to stay alive/relevant as him body fails him. That and his low-key admission he was a narcissist who slyly (may-have) conceded he was banging out broads left and right while being married… but admitting that his own narcissism of being a star (and a fear of jeopardizing that) was the one thing he would not put at risk with such exploits.
The conclusion was perfectly cringeworthy… him singing his newest song in front of an ethnically diverse group of fat aging people who looked like bags of melting plastic as they meekly enjoyed his crooning with timid head bops and lip-synching all the words they all somehow know by heart.
It 100% lived up to my expectations of what he and ABC would collaborate on for a “candid and refreshing dive into the man, the band and the future(?)”
Background bias: Slippery was a huge album in Jr High and one of the gateway drugs to ”hair” with Poison before quickly abandoning all that nonsense for thrash. I have never heard a thing from them since Bad Medicine and the It’s My Life hit and my life does not seem lacking in any way over it. I think Ritchie is a good guitarist as is Phil. I have also heard JBJ is a complete asshole more than once though I cannot remember the circumstances why, though I have been willing to believe it. Maybe some of this filters my viewing experience, maybe not.
Review: Arguably the worst musical docs I recall seeing.
It’s not my dislike for Bon Jovi [band]. I had enjoyed Pearl Jam’s doc (hating them) and Grohl’s Sound City doc, caring little for the famous artists showcased. They were just well done and about the bands and or/music. This was merely a self-indulgent interview of JBJ with clips and cameos interspersed to keep you from falling asleep or hitting stop.
Why the fuck is Michael Strahan interviewing him?! Nothing against the former athlete, but there is nothing relevant about him as relating to JBJ, Bon Jovi, or music. He seems to be an affable recognizable face to add some clout as the canned, boring and predictable “what was it like starting out” questions were fed to him. The amusing part was how JBJ used him as a vehicle to deliver half a dozen athletic parallels about the band “getting back in the game/on the field” etc.
Without knowing the man/band that well, it is evident there is something inherently dishonest, insincere, perhaps even sleazy with this production. There is ZERO current footage of JBJ and any other member together, each either being interviewed separately and/or via canned footage from 10-30 years ago. He responds to the canned questions like Stallone, using big words often inaptly if not incorrectly to show he has a command of a polysyllabic vocabulary: thus, intellect.
There is no mention of his cousin who was noteworthy in the record business who I believe also helped him out and nary a candid quip in 40 years about any ruffled feathers or such stories in the band. He swears “there’s no animosity” in a weirdly obtuse and roundabout way and Ritchie’s equally subdued and evasive confirmations have convinced me he is afraid of JBJ, either legally or otherwise.
My favorite part is at the end where JBJ shoehorns the fact that he’s a philanthropist and the band is merely a vehicle for him, but isn’t *really* what keeps him going… (then why a 30 sec blurb about it amidst a full “documentary” about the band, liar?) No montage of him playing w his kids or gardening or whatever BS he is making up… just the “it sounds right sort of statement to round things out” for the conclusion.
The two actual highlights for me was when he spoke of losing his voice and fighting to recapture and recuperate -the only genuine element presented of an aging star trying to stay alive/relevant as him body fails him. That and his low-key admission he was a narcissist who slyly (may-have) conceded he was banging out broads left and right while being married… but admitting that his own narcissism of being a star (and a fear of jeopardizing that) was the one thing he would not put at risk with such exploits.
The conclusion was perfectly cringeworthy… him singing his newest song in front of an ethnically diverse group of fat aging people who looked like bags of melting plastic as they meekly enjoyed his crooning with timid head bops and lip-synching all the words they all somehow know by heart.
It 100% lived up to my expectations of what he and ABC would collaborate on for a “candid and refreshing dive into the man, the band and the future(?)”
