How to Kick somebody out of your band

[DaCookieMonster]

Please help, guys. One of my best friends for 4+ years/ bassist lead singer in my band has really been being a bitch at practices the last several practices. Really uncooperative. He told me he couldn't afford a $200 4 10 bass cab i found on ebay, but came to practice a few weeks later with $700 dollars worth of baseball shit. Thats a little beside the point. I really don't want to do this, but we cant take his bitchyness. Does anybody have any suggestions on how to a. get him to shut up and cooperate and b. if we reach the last straw, how can we remove him from the situation.
He is just really uncooperative, and bitchy. He's really not that committed. He lacks respect for his/our equipment.
He also broke the tuner on my beloved les paul and refused to pay for it. (once again off topic)
btw, im really close to this guy, and i know it would not be helpful to our friendship, but i want to do it as peacefully as possible.

 

[DaCookieMonster]

suggestions on how to make him cooperate are probably more valid than ones on how to boot him.

 

[MartyStrat54]

Give him a cold water enema and then make him hold it until he agrees to behave.

 

[Hollowbody]

In one band we ditched the drummer by changing when and where we worked on music together without telling him.

I never saw him again.

Years later in another band, I met up with the band leader. We bought the rythm guitarist coffee. Paid him for a a couple of gigs then said we were going with just the one guitar player for a while.

That guy is still a good friend.

 

[Project Hayes]

honestly it just depends on how serious you are...
If you are looking to make it then it's a no-brainer, tell him to GTFO, he is holding you back

which do you value more? : your band or your friendship

If you are serious and are willing to do whatever to make it then you are going to burn a few bridges and break some hearts along the way....thats just life

 

[mauk 1]

Change practice locations....He'll get the hint....
Like Hallowbody said..

 

[bloosman1]

I have done this in the past, and it does suck! I find that a simple, truthful statement, with the bands backing of course, is best. Be professional about it and let him know his services are no longer required. Period. Then thank him for his time and ask him to leave. Like I said, it does suck, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
---J---

 

[bloosman1]

Oh and just so's ya know, I have been fired from bands, I appreciate candor.

 

[jcmjmp]

Change practice locations....He'll get the hint....
Like Hallowbody said..

That's awful. The best thing to do is have a conversation with him with the entire band in a neutral area so that the breakup is respectful and amicable.

 

[Australian]

Try and settle the differences....have a band meeting, but without beer.

 

[itchybro]

Try and settle the differences....have a band meeting, but without beer.

Or guns....

 

[Mike_j]

If this guy is such an asshole, I can't work why you see him as such a good friend.
IMO - Honesty is the best policy. All you have to do reiterate the things you put in your post here.
4 practices in, our band has done the same thing. We sacked the our other guitarist but he was a friend of the bass player and he was happy to do the deed. Although we are just a bunch of old guys fucking around, it still shits me that the guy had such an uncaring attitude about his tone and gear. After spending thousands of dollars on gear/tone and investing so much time practicing, it just gets aggrevating working with someone who can't even work an mp3 player.

Dude, be honest with guy and tell him to piss off.

 

[NewReligion]

I SUGGEST YOU TELL HIM WHAT YOU TOLD US. BE HONEST MATURE AND RESPECTFUL. GIVE HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO CORRECT HIS ISSUES. IF HE DOES NOT THEN THAT IS HIS WAY OF "QUITING" THE BAND BECAUSE HE LOST INTEREST. BEEN THERE AND DONE THIS.

THE REST OF THE BAND MUST STICK TOGETHER ON THIS AND IT SHOULD BE ADDRESSED AS A BAND.

GOOD LUCK AND BE HONEST.

David

David C. Hopkins on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music Downloads

 

[spacejunkie]

If he was your mate he wouldn't take the piss out of ya, i have respect for friends shit and vice versa.

Be honest with him tell him what's on your mind, he has put you in this position so if he doesn't like it then he has to deal with it, tough titty......

 

[Hollowbody]

That's awful. The best thing to do is have a conversation with him with the entire band in a neutral area so that the breakup is respectful and amicable.

Yes, you got the point of my two different scenarios.

In comparison:

For the drummer who we bailed on and didn't communicate with we lost a friend.

For the guitarist, we gave him the appropriate respect and still have a good friend.

This works with one caveat, the drummer was an ass so in that case (exception not rule) I believe we did the right thing both times. Still, I don't buy the ladder climbing mentality, no need to stab a few souls "on the way up".

 

[Hollowbody]

Give him a cold water enema and then make him hold it until he agrees to behave.

He might like it too much.

 

[MartyStrat54]

He might like it too much.

No he might not and some of these other suggestions he might not like either. I was just being a smart-ass because I like to be one ever so often. The fact is, I don't think any of us are qualified to really give advice on this. I say this, because the OP makes a point that the guy is his good friend. Well, they must go way, way back, because if I had a clump of coal in my shorts, I would take it out and throw it away. If they are such good friends, it should be easy to say, "You're out." Then they can just find another bassist who sings. If infractions are occurring, then the band has every right to take action. I guess you can try the, "You're out of the band, but we all want to be friends" approach, but in this instance, I don't see it happening. I think the best thing to do is first find out "why" he had copped an attitude and "why" he didn't want to improve his rig and if he comes up with lame excuses then you cut him loose.

I've had to can many drummers and bass players. You can't be around them 24 hours a day. People do make bad decisions that can lead to drug habits or maybe there is some sort of mental disorder. Be realistic, these things can happen. I mean when a guy says, "I can't cut $200 for a nice cab" and then he brings baseball shit to practice...that sounds like maybe a small screw has come loose.

And it is tough, because as far as a band goes, a bass player who can sing good is worth their weight in any band and it makes it tough to replace him. I had to go through this same scenario, except the bass player had migrated from coke to meth. He was a great bass player and could sing Def Leppard all day long. But how do you put up with a meth addict? You can't and I cut him and he went on to sell all his stuff for dope and he was living on the streets. Lucky for me, Phoenix has a lot of musicians and we found a wonderful replacement who also became a very good friend of mine.

I would be more concerned about what is causing his behavior and his explanation for it. You take it from there.

 

[Ken]

If you want to be a good band, you have to treat it like a business. If the OP wants to be in a good band, he can't let friendship hold the band back. As others said, sit the guy down and explain that it's not working the way it's going. List point by point the issues. Maybe he'll clean up his act.

If you just want to jam with friends that's fine, but the music will suffer, so you have to make a decision on what you want to be.

ken

 

[MacMan]

what ever you do, do it in person. face to face is the best way. you know what needs to be done so just do it.
Sometimes life is a bitch

 

[Rockin_Lisa]

When someone is distracting the band, the whole band suffers. If it continues, then the morale of the band suffers and it can cause tension among the other band mates as well. This could lead to the entire band breaking up simply because one member developed a problem.

It's a lot like MartyStrat said, "You can't be watching them all of the time." If there is a good chance the guy will straighten up, then let him know he is on probation. This will either cause him to want to impress the band, or he will flake out on you and then it won't be such a hassle dumping him because he knew he was on probation.

If something (drugs/girlfriend) has caused him to go sour, then you need to remove him quickly for the good of the entire band.