Quasar-Kid
Well-Known Member
Here's a new (unofficial) 12 step program me and a few of my buddies have been working on...
We call it: The Twelve Steps To Unhappiness
There is no Copyright on it or personal possession
You can cut and paste it to a word doc if you'd like to use it - no worries there
The twelve steps to unhappiness
1. DIFFERENT:
The first step to being truly unhappy is the belief that something should be different - and this includes anything - as small as the weather or the time of day all the way up to the perceived big items like money or other people… This feeling that something should be different, no matter how subtle, is the first step and considered the root cause of unhappiness… Would you like to experience true unhappiness, then start wishing things were different.
2. SERIOUS:
The second step to unhappiness is taking yourself very seriously, this should be self-explanatory, but if it’s not then see Psychology 101: “The solemn and ardently held over serious self-identity is a neurotic condition where both the conscious and subconscious are consumed…etc.” in short taking yourself too seriously is a neurotic condition / a form of insanity. Instead try to imagine life as a comedy, and God as a comedian. Sure, sometimes we don’t get the joke but Voltaire perhaps said it best: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." Don;t be afraid to laugh at yourself.. it's a form of freedom
3. POSSESSIONS:
The third step is the belief that possessions are actually important. The right car the right house the right shoes and so on… Every product manufacturer knows exactly how to push this button. So here’s a test, tell any old person that “a car got stolen today” and they will elicit no reaction, then tell them that their car got stolen and they will likely freak out, but ultimately what’s the difference..? The secret is, it’s all just stuff and it only has as much power as we give it, Sure you’ll be marginally inconvenienced if your car is stolen but the damn things are everywhere most families have several, and we live in a culture where MORE is equated with success so it gets confusing… proceed with caution, but in the meantime buy as much stuff as you can (to fill the void) also remember how important your stuff is and - More stuff is always better, but no matter how hard you try, the accumulation of more does not equate to happiness…
4. RECOGNITION & RESPECT:
The fourth step is the desire for recognition – this is similar to taking yourself very seriously – but is a distinct subcategory that deserves an entire unhappy step dedicated to it. The subtle difference is, instead of just taking yourself a bit too seriously you now expect others to join in on your delusion. If you really want to be unhappy then try demanding respect from others… After all you should be recognized for your accomplishments and others should acknowledge and admire your greatness. The EGO is relentless in this regard. (However) A worker among workers has the freedom of anonymity but a Star is always on stage performing in a show, the act can never be over - the show must go on for eternity… Gosh that sounds like fun please sign me up for that.
5. JUSTIFIABLE ANGER:
The fifth step towards unhappiness is tricky because it’s so common. Justifiable anger is the hidden trap door to unhappiness because all of us have the right to be angry about a whole variety of things pretty much all the time… Two words: Get mad. Yes You – you have every right to be angry and why miss an opportunity to experience some genuine self-righteous indignation? Note: There is no peace there and if we keep telling ourselves we have every right to be angry we will be… Justifiable anger is the fuming dung heap of the perpetually unhappy.
6. FAIR:
The sixth step to unhappiness is an elusive mind game. Our fixation with the concept of FAIR and believing we know what RIGHT is. We grow up learning what is FAIR and what is RIGHT, it’s a part of how we’re raised and is considered critical in child development but this concept causes much internal strife as we grow older and our life / world becomes more complex. Looking for unhappiness? Remember you know what is right and the world is not fair, now go fix it… It has been a favorite philosophical subject for 6,000 years however, considering these concepts (fair and right) to be perspectives rather than absolutes has been an important step towards human enlightenment. As individuals we don’t own all the world’s problems… Nor is there any evidence that we know what’s best for ourselves (or for anybody else for that matter) so if we’re spending a lot of time thinking we know what’s right and what’s fair, we’re also going to be spending a lot of time being upset and disappointed…
7. YOUR WORD:
The seventh step is no secret. Not keeping our word with others (and to ourselves) will create a disharmony within us. If we want to be happy and have the weight of the world lifted from our shoulders then let’s just do what we say we’re going to do, it’s that simple. Or instead try the opposite, start small by not keeping your word with children, then move up to real disharmony and don’t keep your word to your boss and your family…
8. ENVY:
The eighth step is a game called: “Let’s compare our life to the lives of others, even though we have no idea what their journey is all about.” Want complete unhappiness then just do that… Want to be famous, important and extremely wealthy..? When we are feeling envious try to remember this, if we threw all our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Also remember any psychologist will tell you, the unhappiest people on earth tend to be the most extravagant and wealthy… Their journey is not our journey and all is not as it appears. The paradox is this: What our culture tells us we want is actually shown to be that which creates the most complexities and unhappiness – I repeat – all is not as it appears.
9. ASSUMPTIONS:
The ninth step to unhappiness is easy, just become assumptive and jump to as many unfounded conclusions as possible… You’ll be completely miserable almost immediately. The small assumptions are a good place to start your journey but can be the most dangerous because they are easy jumps and frequently lead to larger assumptions (and so on) and assumptions lead to expectations and expectations lead to disappointment and the cycle continues. For true unhappiness, remember, always assume… Here’s an example: “I assume I’m going to get a 10% raise because I think that’s what everybody else got too and that would be fair…” Oh boy… you’ve crashed through two rules of unhappiness right there - #9 & #6 / My buddies and I like to call that a stand up double – but for true misery try hitting a triple, or the vaunted HOME RUN (hint: A grand slam is 8 rules in one event… yes it can be done)
10. RANKING:
The tenth step is tricky because we all do it unconsciously. Internalizing the subconscious idea that one thing is better than something else; this is the natural launching point… The constant ranking and measuring of everything eventually creeps into our public life and especially regarding social status and the unspoken class systems which pervade our world. Sure it’s one thing to think this car is better than that car, but it’s something else entirely when we rank humanity, janitors and garbage men, doctors and lawyers. This is an age old condition and it happens among cultures as well as among friends and co-workers, it’s everywhere. So always remember these kinds of people are better than those kinds of people, Republicans, Democrats, Blacks, Asians, the list goes on and on. If you spend enough time and energy ranking people and classifying them, you will be miserable…
11. SLOTH:
The eleventh step has scientific evidence to support it. So go ahead, spend a month on the sofa, I promise you’ll feel better about everything if you just stay inside all summer. As Mammals we are built to move. Now, not all of us are exactly the same in this regard, but all of us must move. Do not confuse this with exercise or some kind of health kick program - this is not what is being suggested - but there is solid scientific evidence that tells us we must get up, get out and get moving to experience complete happiness. One highly regarded psychiatrists studies suggested that running errands on one’s day off is measurably therapeutic – her study showed that having small easily accomplished goals accompanied by a break (lunch with a friend or a quick coffee) in the middle with a few more small easily accomplished “to do’s” in the afternoon was as good for her study group as a hike in the woods or a vacation day…
Get up, get out, and get moving… it’s scientific or just close the blinds and lay on the sofa…
12. SHAME:
The twelfth step is the dark and silent world of secrets and shame. You’re probably a horrible person who has done horrible things so go ahead and reinforce that if you truly want to experience unhappiness. Live a secret life and keep secrets about your past and hold on to your shame and embarrassment. Doing this will keep us dark, fearful and remote, but setting the past free has proven to be tricky. The odd thing is the past does not actually exist in any tangible way. Presently it lives ONLY in our dark and polluted little minds. What we hide in there we carry with us but to expel those thoughts usually requires help from others. And by others I mean the very people we are hiding them from (that’s a tricky paradox) however, once the unloading is done, a simple life lived in the light for all to see is a joyous and invigorating existence and I am told, if we try it we will never go back into the dark…
We call it: The Twelve Steps To Unhappiness
There is no Copyright on it or personal possession
You can cut and paste it to a word doc if you'd like to use it - no worries there
The twelve steps to unhappiness
1. DIFFERENT:
The first step to being truly unhappy is the belief that something should be different - and this includes anything - as small as the weather or the time of day all the way up to the perceived big items like money or other people… This feeling that something should be different, no matter how subtle, is the first step and considered the root cause of unhappiness… Would you like to experience true unhappiness, then start wishing things were different.
2. SERIOUS:
The second step to unhappiness is taking yourself very seriously, this should be self-explanatory, but if it’s not then see Psychology 101: “The solemn and ardently held over serious self-identity is a neurotic condition where both the conscious and subconscious are consumed…etc.” in short taking yourself too seriously is a neurotic condition / a form of insanity. Instead try to imagine life as a comedy, and God as a comedian. Sure, sometimes we don’t get the joke but Voltaire perhaps said it best: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." Don;t be afraid to laugh at yourself.. it's a form of freedom
3. POSSESSIONS:
The third step is the belief that possessions are actually important. The right car the right house the right shoes and so on… Every product manufacturer knows exactly how to push this button. So here’s a test, tell any old person that “a car got stolen today” and they will elicit no reaction, then tell them that their car got stolen and they will likely freak out, but ultimately what’s the difference..? The secret is, it’s all just stuff and it only has as much power as we give it, Sure you’ll be marginally inconvenienced if your car is stolen but the damn things are everywhere most families have several, and we live in a culture where MORE is equated with success so it gets confusing… proceed with caution, but in the meantime buy as much stuff as you can (to fill the void) also remember how important your stuff is and - More stuff is always better, but no matter how hard you try, the accumulation of more does not equate to happiness…
4. RECOGNITION & RESPECT:
The fourth step is the desire for recognition – this is similar to taking yourself very seriously – but is a distinct subcategory that deserves an entire unhappy step dedicated to it. The subtle difference is, instead of just taking yourself a bit too seriously you now expect others to join in on your delusion. If you really want to be unhappy then try demanding respect from others… After all you should be recognized for your accomplishments and others should acknowledge and admire your greatness. The EGO is relentless in this regard. (However) A worker among workers has the freedom of anonymity but a Star is always on stage performing in a show, the act can never be over - the show must go on for eternity… Gosh that sounds like fun please sign me up for that.
5. JUSTIFIABLE ANGER:
The fifth step towards unhappiness is tricky because it’s so common. Justifiable anger is the hidden trap door to unhappiness because all of us have the right to be angry about a whole variety of things pretty much all the time… Two words: Get mad. Yes You – you have every right to be angry and why miss an opportunity to experience some genuine self-righteous indignation? Note: There is no peace there and if we keep telling ourselves we have every right to be angry we will be… Justifiable anger is the fuming dung heap of the perpetually unhappy.
6. FAIR:
The sixth step to unhappiness is an elusive mind game. Our fixation with the concept of FAIR and believing we know what RIGHT is. We grow up learning what is FAIR and what is RIGHT, it’s a part of how we’re raised and is considered critical in child development but this concept causes much internal strife as we grow older and our life / world becomes more complex. Looking for unhappiness? Remember you know what is right and the world is not fair, now go fix it… It has been a favorite philosophical subject for 6,000 years however, considering these concepts (fair and right) to be perspectives rather than absolutes has been an important step towards human enlightenment. As individuals we don’t own all the world’s problems… Nor is there any evidence that we know what’s best for ourselves (or for anybody else for that matter) so if we’re spending a lot of time thinking we know what’s right and what’s fair, we’re also going to be spending a lot of time being upset and disappointed…
7. YOUR WORD:
The seventh step is no secret. Not keeping our word with others (and to ourselves) will create a disharmony within us. If we want to be happy and have the weight of the world lifted from our shoulders then let’s just do what we say we’re going to do, it’s that simple. Or instead try the opposite, start small by not keeping your word with children, then move up to real disharmony and don’t keep your word to your boss and your family…
8. ENVY:
The eighth step is a game called: “Let’s compare our life to the lives of others, even though we have no idea what their journey is all about.” Want complete unhappiness then just do that… Want to be famous, important and extremely wealthy..? When we are feeling envious try to remember this, if we threw all our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Also remember any psychologist will tell you, the unhappiest people on earth tend to be the most extravagant and wealthy… Their journey is not our journey and all is not as it appears. The paradox is this: What our culture tells us we want is actually shown to be that which creates the most complexities and unhappiness – I repeat – all is not as it appears.
9. ASSUMPTIONS:
The ninth step to unhappiness is easy, just become assumptive and jump to as many unfounded conclusions as possible… You’ll be completely miserable almost immediately. The small assumptions are a good place to start your journey but can be the most dangerous because they are easy jumps and frequently lead to larger assumptions (and so on) and assumptions lead to expectations and expectations lead to disappointment and the cycle continues. For true unhappiness, remember, always assume… Here’s an example: “I assume I’m going to get a 10% raise because I think that’s what everybody else got too and that would be fair…” Oh boy… you’ve crashed through two rules of unhappiness right there - #9 & #6 / My buddies and I like to call that a stand up double – but for true misery try hitting a triple, or the vaunted HOME RUN (hint: A grand slam is 8 rules in one event… yes it can be done)
10. RANKING:
The tenth step is tricky because we all do it unconsciously. Internalizing the subconscious idea that one thing is better than something else; this is the natural launching point… The constant ranking and measuring of everything eventually creeps into our public life and especially regarding social status and the unspoken class systems which pervade our world. Sure it’s one thing to think this car is better than that car, but it’s something else entirely when we rank humanity, janitors and garbage men, doctors and lawyers. This is an age old condition and it happens among cultures as well as among friends and co-workers, it’s everywhere. So always remember these kinds of people are better than those kinds of people, Republicans, Democrats, Blacks, Asians, the list goes on and on. If you spend enough time and energy ranking people and classifying them, you will be miserable…
11. SLOTH:
The eleventh step has scientific evidence to support it. So go ahead, spend a month on the sofa, I promise you’ll feel better about everything if you just stay inside all summer. As Mammals we are built to move. Now, not all of us are exactly the same in this regard, but all of us must move. Do not confuse this with exercise or some kind of health kick program - this is not what is being suggested - but there is solid scientific evidence that tells us we must get up, get out and get moving to experience complete happiness. One highly regarded psychiatrists studies suggested that running errands on one’s day off is measurably therapeutic – her study showed that having small easily accomplished goals accompanied by a break (lunch with a friend or a quick coffee) in the middle with a few more small easily accomplished “to do’s” in the afternoon was as good for her study group as a hike in the woods or a vacation day…
Get up, get out, and get moving… it’s scientific or just close the blinds and lay on the sofa…
12. SHAME:
The twelfth step is the dark and silent world of secrets and shame. You’re probably a horrible person who has done horrible things so go ahead and reinforce that if you truly want to experience unhappiness. Live a secret life and keep secrets about your past and hold on to your shame and embarrassment. Doing this will keep us dark, fearful and remote, but setting the past free has proven to be tricky. The odd thing is the past does not actually exist in any tangible way. Presently it lives ONLY in our dark and polluted little minds. What we hide in there we carry with us but to expel those thoughts usually requires help from others. And by others I mean the very people we are hiding them from (that’s a tricky paradox) however, once the unloading is done, a simple life lived in the light for all to see is a joyous and invigorating existence and I am told, if we try it we will never go back into the dark…
and live trapped in the cycle of repeating them
& 
