Waiting For The Sunn((((0))))

[Tim Fezziwig]

I blow up amps. Doesn't matter what type. I've owned 15 amps. 4 never quit=69 Ampeg Vt22+Koch Twintone+Silvertones 1304+1481. I sold the Ampeg and Koch several years ago when moving;I thought I would never need a LOUD amp again---FEZZ band was dead and buried. Then one day two years ago===

RRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiinnngggggg
'Yeah?"
"FEZZ?"
"Yeah?"
"Tommy here, I'm alive....I want to play bass...you in?"

I thought Tommy was dead. Last time I saw him he looked like DEATH. This was in 2008 after FEZZ #4 turned to dust. My drummer was almost dead laying on the ground---Oxys are a bad party drug---I was teaching Tommy the chords to FLESH EATER as the drummer moaned at our feet. Tommy suggested that we break up. WHY? One member of the trio was a drug-addict, one was VERY sick,and I was ?????????? We quit that day.

"Yes. I'm in. Find a drummer!"

Tommy found a drummer-he lived at the car-wash......down on his luck=perfect. Tommy and I re-built him. Now, he has a baby girl,wife, was accepted back into the family business. We have survived 2 years +=a record for FEZZ band
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Now, back to the amp "issue." From 91-93-FEZZ#1- many amps died. Fender Dual Showmans, Mosfet Marshalls,Crates, Peaveys, EVEN BOOGIES!!!!!!! I accepted this. They were tube amps. Tube amps have "life-spans"-as do "HOT" blondes.

2014-FEZZ#5 starts jamming at a space. They have amps to rent. I blow up three solid state amps in 4 months. The owner is perplexed. She is a quasi-groupie with a crooked smile.

"Tim, what are you doing?"
"I'm playing FEZZ Rock."
"I've had METAL bands use this amps with no problem."
"They are clowns. They play at being EVIL. I am EVIL!"

We started practicing at Tommy's to save $ . I needed an amp. I bought a $300 Fender Champion 100 watter last June. I knew to buy the insurance. All was well until three weeks ago. Amp started sputtering then died. I took it to UPS store;sent it to Guitar Center in Chicago for repair. I was told I would have my amp or a new one in 10 days. No problem. I had a gig on Oct 29=plenty of time. We practiced last weeked. Tommy had a 65 watt Fender. We play for 15 minutes.....BzzzZZZzzZZzzTTTTTTTttttt ...amp dies. Tommy believes I'm a demon who eats amps for power

Monday I start calling. WHERE IS MY AMP? I PLAY ON SATURDAY! After many brush-offs I get a call,

"Tim Fozziberg?"
" No! Tim FEZZIWIG!"
"Tim Festerbeg., your amp had demons. Fender is sending you a new amp. It will arrive on Nov 4."
'Damn, I have a gig on Sat. You pencil-neck geek. I NEED AN AMP!"
'Sorry, Mr. Fizziwog!"
"EAT FUZZ!"

Last night I go to Guitar Center. I find a Sunn Stinger 35 watt. I plug in and peel paint. The "kid" that works there is impressed,
" That amp is LOUD! I thought it was a duck."
" It is in other's hands. I'm MEAN. Now wrap it up."

I pay $100. Tonight is the gig. Will it blow up? Who cares? If it does I tell the bassist and drummer to get plastered. I have an hour of POETRY stored in my brain. WHO NEEDS AMPS?

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

 

[Söulcaster]

Did you blow up the Sunn?

Peace

 

[MexicanMike]

I think there's Fezziplants growing under my house, Fezziplants growing in the pipes & ceilings, Fezziplants growing under my bathtub & in the drain.. I think Fezziplants is trying to kill me.

 

[DirtySteve]

 

[keennay]

Man, you sure have a loud ringtone in your stories lol. That's about the one thing I always remember.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

I was the only guitarist with a combo last night. EVERYBODY had half-stacks,most were too loud, they don't understand the "band" concept. My "little" 85 watter stole the night. Many thought it was a tube amp. "No son,,,,,,,,,I can play through a turtle and sound good. "Link Wray watches /blesses my guitar playing.

 

[MexicanMike]

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the Fezz to come.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

R+R is still alive. We played with a Sab band, a Punk covers band with a "whizbang" guitarist ala Tom Morello, a NY Dolls type band.....then at last FEZZ band. 6 people stayed. The LOVED us. 6 people=6 million. If I can touch /corrupt one "soul", I sleep well.....actually I didn't sleep at all. Got home at 4 am in work by 9am............I'm living the dream.

 

[Coronado]

I love Fezz posts... I have to read them a couple times because I'm slow, but once I get it, they're greeeeaaaaat!

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

The gig just keeps giving. I kept feeding my bassist ,Tommy,drinks/drugs....he was "perfect" by midnite.We play, I crack jokes, the Ron Wood Tele KILLS. We leave at 3:44 am. I drive Tommy's car,we listen to a Floyd boot from 1977. Tommy gets bent because the other band didn't split the money 4 ways-as was promised<our money goes into the cat shelter> I do not accept peanuts-pay me $85,000 or nothing. Tommy goes home and destroys other band-calls him scumbag +POS. It turns out the other guitarist has a bad heart=John Ritter disease. I get text after text---

"Why does Tommy hate me? I had to leave. My heart was feeling "funny."

I show my wife the texts-
"What "softies." No wonder you destroy other bands."

Tommy calls Tommy #2 and apologizes.I talk to "my" Tommy....

"Nice job. Next gig get more polluted..............screw the supporting bands......face-plant--------BE EVIL.....we are not about "buddy Rock"....take ten lbs of flesh."

I'm enjoying being a washed-up Rocker. Many butts left to chap.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

 

[DirtySteve]

I love Fezz posts... I have to read them a couple times because I'm slow, but once I get it, they're greeeeaaaaat!

Fezz cola is an acquired taste.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

Fezz cola is an acquired taste.

Dirty, yes this is very true. I tried sucking "hind tit." I played Little League, I saw SHMUCKOS getting prime positions because DADDY was the coach.....then puberty===== football- Moron crewcut coaches riding me for long hair....then Poetry-Philly scene-early 20's...Hey Tim, go easy............we are your friends...THEN BLACKBALLING......then R+R.......banned from clubs for playing my truth.....



then rest.....>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


decades.....


COMPUTERS!!!!! HYPE!!! POSTMODERNISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now 2016----no more pitty pattt.....I'm THE STAR of ?????????The JUNK world....no holding back.....tarnished CRAPPPPPOOO brass ring.....why kiss rings? No....Jimmy Page+++++Ritchie Blackmore-WASH MY CAR!!!!!! You are but mortal men......I pray to the animals---the meek.........feels good to be UNLEASHED!

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

I still give THE OLD GODS cash-Buy Jimmy remasters-----------expanded versions.....give Ozzy bread......listened to Paranoid dbl cd--YEAHHHH-Iron Man instro version.........do they know my name? Would they give me water???// PFfffftttttttttt................

 

[DirtySteve]

You edited you post, I liked the psychedelic version better.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

You edited you post, I liked the psychedelic version better.

D, editing can be a VERY bad thing. A snip here+there can turn a tomcat into a ??????????

 

[Far Rider]

There is only one Fezzman! All hail.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

 

[tubes]

"Tim, what are you doing?"
"I'm playing FEZZ Rock."
"I've had METAL bands use this amps with no problem."
"They are clowns. They play at being EVIL. I am EVIL!"

Okay, but the typesetting is not quite right.

I think you meant:

"Tim, what are you doing?"
"I'm playing FEZZ Rock."
"I've had METAL bands use this amps with no problem."
"They are clowns. They play at being EVIL. I am EVIL!"
_______________________________________________

Meanwhile...
I'd say you should just take three amps to a gig. Because you probably won't fry all of them.

And you already have $85,000 from the previous gig so you can afford a couple more amps.

Alternatively... take just two amps and some back-up poetry.
Hang on... this is what you already do.
__

When I think of poetry in a musical setting (one that's post 1950s) I normally thing of reggae.