Dead at 55. Covert Narcissist. 3X Felony DUIs.

[mtm105]

1982-83 while in HS I had an unhealthy fixation with then 15-16 year old girl.

April 9, 1982 at a hotel room party she had a tarot spread. Guy tried doing me a real favor. He predicted her and I an intimate relationship. I smoked dust at this party, and next day I fell into a crippling 8-10 week depression. During this, I once woke up drunk with her in a twin bed. Too drunk to fuck. She was a virgin. I was to have pricked her. I was a virgin too. Without a condom. Nothing happened.

I was sick over her. A covert narcisisst. She had me wrapped TIGHT around her finger. I coped. Many, many songs in Rock & Roll history have been written about a character like this. Stevie Nicks/Buckingham. Kinks Paranoia. Led Zep I. Rolling Stones. Foreigner.

We generally avoided each other. I didn't know that she was a narcissist. Till 4 decades later. 1983 I quit a financial aid college scholarship, in hope that we would maybe somehow, somewhere conjoin. 1984 I joined the Army to get away from this toxic situation I created for myself.

Years later she gets 3 felony DUIs. Divorced. Working every weekend as a waitress. No future. Likely crack/methamphetamine. Dead age 55.

Today I don't have to fear facing her somewhere at a funereal, or whatever. No matter how much success I have achieved in life, she would likely abrasively look at me subtly with dishonor and disdain. (Regardless of the fact that her life is complete & total loserdom.) I would probably spiral into a similar depression for weeks. Today I am free. Of never, ever, ever having to face that. Anytime. Anywhere.

I hear birds chirping, and I enjoy the nice weather knowing that forever she is gone. Gone forever. Dead as a doorknob. If/when I ever take stage I find GREAT PEACE knowing that she will not be there. Ever.

I try not to speak of her. Giving her even more power during death.

Kathleen Rafferty - The Suffolk Times

Kathleen Rafferty quietly passed away on Dec. 3, 2023. Kathy was born on June 11, 1967, in Glen Cove, N.Y. and grew up in Watchung and Bridgewater, N.J. She was employed at The Harbor Front Inn in the Village of Greenport, N.Y., at the time of her passing. She leaves behind her sister Ann Rohr...

suffolktimes.timesreview.com

Town Police Logs: Charged with DWI, 2 Complain of Stomach Aches

Also: 18-year-old arrested on forcible touching and assault charges.

patch.com

 

[Vinsanitizer]

WTF is this, and why is it here.

 

[mtm105]

WTF is this, and why is it here.

It’s about narcissism. A crippling Cluster B mental disorder, as found on DSM-V.

On a scale of 1-10, healthy narcissism is found on Five. Covert narcissism is found at one, and malignant overt narcissism is found at 10. I suspect that this forum has a share of malignant narcissists.

 

[PelliX]

A crippling Cluster B mental disorder, as found on DSM-V.

Don't read too much into it. According to the DSM there's not a single person on the planet who isn't in dire need of prescription meds to tackle a host of mental health issues.

I suspect that this forum has its share of malignant narcissists.

That's only fair, given that it's almost fashionable currently...

I understand that this was an ordeal for you, but to rejoice at the death of someone you once loved... I guess we all deal with this stuff in different ways.

 

[TonalEuphoria]

I need prescription meds just listening to this story. Sorry for your loss and/or what else it is. Sorry you didn't get to prick her too.
We all have these girls we let get away kind of stories. It sucks, but you can't relive the past. You just have to keep plodding on.

 

[SonVolt]

I feel like your story leaves out too many details. Were you in a relationship with her for an extended period of time?

 

[knulp]

I think you want a dsl..

 

[anitoli]

I think he needs a 12 pack................

 

[jaallen]

Just a correction to the story you prose, as C. Dickens properly wrote, "Dead as a Door Nail"

Below:

“Old Marley was as dead as a door nail.
Mind! I don't mean to say that, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a doornail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door nail.”​

 

[knulp]

Hey Dude
Don’t make it bad,Take a sad song and make it better,remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better..

A dsl will help too..

 

[mtm105]

I never even kissed her.

I feel like your story leaves out too many details. Were you in a relationship with her for an extended period of time?

 

[SonVolt]

Sounds more like a story of obsession then.

 

[mtm105]

I need prescription meds just listening to this story. Sorry for your loss and/or what else it is. Sorry you didn't get to prick her too.
We all have these girls we let get away kind of stories. It sucks, but you can't relive the past. You just have to keep plodding on.

That is the beauty. I am unable relive the past. Hotel where party was at completely razed. I am now free to write my own future.

Anyone who has dealt with a narcisist knows the suffering. Maybe 10% of populace are narcissists. Many will see it unrecognizable in a relationship because they are ignorant. A lot of gaslighting.

My older sister a communal narcissist. She controls the entire family like David Koresh. I spent over 3 decades in 12 step rooms and therapy thinking it revolved around alcohol. She uses religion and her high per capita income to support her tyranny. I'm close to her same success level. Just not as "popular". Or controlling. She hasn't called or visited me over 35 years, yet lays a guilt trip on me for not doing same.

Today's Youtube helps educate. Very informative and FREE!

 

[mtm105]

Sounds more like a story of obsession then.

Sounds more like a story of obsession then.

Sounds more like a story of obsession then.

I would concur. Like Citizen Kane's Rosebud.

I have had several beautiful women, in an attempt to make amends with the past. She was a beauty. Until I saw recent pics of her meth teeth.

 

[Pokey]

So, what Marshall is this? and is it modded

 

[knulp]

So, what Marshall is this? and is it modded

It does need a brightening mod to give some shine in my opinion
The tone is too dark
Could be good for death metal though

 

[mtm105]

So, what Marshall is this? and is it modded

I posted cognizant of which forum this is.

If you do not sympathize with narcissism, you may be one. It isn’t as recognizable as alcohol or drugs. Most politicians and celebrities are on the scale. John DeLorean’s ex-wife called him a malignant narcissist.

 

[mtm105]

Hey Dude
Don’t make it bad,Take a sad song and make it better,remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better..

A dsl will help too..

I like Fargens. I own three. And Buddas.

I had a DSL 20. Did not like.

 

[knulp]

I like Fargens. I own three. And Buddas.

I had a DSL 20. Did not like.

A dsl20 is quite a unique beast
Very different from the jcm2000 or dsl 100h
However I’ve only seen the schematic but if you had the combo it’s possible that you simply did not like the speaker

Obviously it’s possible to simply dislike all dsl models..it has a tone on its own,can be quite aggressive and indeed fargen and buddas are quite the opposite,very smooth.

But I keep insisting on the dsl because of the ‘I’m thinking of getting a dsl’ video..if haven’t seen it search for it..it’s very funny and I and others simply can’t stop referring to it in every inappropriate thread..just kidding

What fargen do you have?

 

[knulp]