My wife is a Sociopath

[mtm105]

Raised by a malignant narcissist mother. LOTS of NYC $$. Super resentments. Her Dad left her mom 1974 in NYC, disappearing for 2 years and worked. Owned a yacht.

I won’t get into her criminal history past 20 years. It’s quite extensive. Mind boggling. Not directly involving me. The system. 58 days in jail.

Addicted to alcohol & rage. And shoplifting. smh Minus the alcohol she’s palatable. She collects SS $ for “anxiety.” WTF is that?

I am setting boundaries knowing that she is a Sociopath. A boundary as simple as eating hamburgers. It’s a nightmare. The bun is wrong, it’s never cooked right, the flavor of the meat…the toppings. The pickles…even when ordering out.

Spaghetti & meatballs absolute fav. She weaponizes food.

It’s my cross to bare. I am aware of DSM IV narcisissm, at least. There begins the coping. I am very fortunate in retirement. Her behavior likely contributing to my 100% VA rating. $3,800 monthly tax free on top of pension. No property tax. No mortgage.

Not all narcissists are Sociopaths. All Sociopaths are narcissists. A Sociopath is one who shreds societal norms, likely from an abusive childhood.

Also, failure to adapt to military lifestyle. Unbelievable crap.

She has never threatened to damage my guitar gear. Thank G-d! Threatening sugar in gas tank, yes. Recently I filed a complaint for that. It’s kinda first time I stood up for myself, minus contacting child protection services 2X. She’s on probation. Likely get a phone call.

She is going to be PISSED OFF! And that’s how it is. Instead of taking responsibility and blame for her own actions, she’ll turn it around and find fault with me.

 

[PelliX]

Addicted to alcohol & rage. And shoplifting. smh Minus the alcohol she’s palatable.

I find alcohol more patable than rage or shoplifting, but I guess you're the one who married the bird. You know she reads this forum, too, right?

"Women. You can't live with 'em, you can't ship 'em all to Canada."
-- Al Bundy

 

[Whizzercone]

I did that for 25 years. Leave ASAP. It will not change.

 

[PelliX]

I did that for 25 years. Leave ASAP. It will not change.

You know, I always had this suspicion you were a covert female shoplifter...

(just poking fun at ya!)

 

[Whizzercone]

You know, I always had this suspicion you were a covert female shoplifter...

(just poking fun at ya!)

Before I knew better, my ex "shoplifted" $200 worth of groceries (we didn't have money issues). She bullshitted me, I believed it and got her out of it. It just got weirder and more violent until the fuzz toted her off.

 

[PelliX]

My mom had a brief shoplifting streak at one point, rest in peace. It was totally out of character for her, but she got a kick out of it. I guess I can sort of understand that, but physical (vs intellectual) theft is something I frown on. Intellectual theft is very much situation dependent and up for debate in a given context. The only time I've been involved in anything like that was with a classmate. We went off to a supermarket in the lunch break. Eventually, he buys a tiny can of coke and outside he shows me that he had lined his jacket will all sorts of crap. I nearly punched him in the face (but didn't), told him to walk away and that he should be ashamed of himself - if not for stealing, then for dragging me in without my knowledge and consent.

 

[mtm105]

If I may add, 2021 $889,000 estate. Gone in a year. Paid off mortgage, bought car, Paris vacay. French Bulldog. Thats OK.

The rest $$ GONE. Ordering food out daily. Amazon. Who knows?? Zero $$ for kid’s college. I got ZILCH! Then the shoplifting. Walked out of self/checkout 7X.

I am now paying $500 month to board a $30K horse she bought. Anyone think that she isn’t Cluster B personality??

 

[mtm105]

I did that for 25 years. Leave ASAP. It will not change.

That is the crux. Should I leave? Is it all worth it? Not likely. I moved 15X in 30 years, via college, grad school & the military. I don’t have another move in me.

I am only betting that if she quits alcohol, the police will stop. That is a sad measurement for success.

 

[Whizzercone]

That is the crux. Should I leave? Is it worth it? Not likely.

I am only betting that if she quits alcohol, the police will stop. That is a sad measurement for success.

She doesn't have a problem. Why should she stop?

 

[C-Grin]

Sociopaths don’t change, seen it first hand. They leave victims and casualties in their wake. Sorry this is going on. Protect yourself.

 

[Whizzercone]

Sociopaths don’t change, seen it first hand. They leave victims and casualties in their wake. Sorry this is going on. Protect yourself.

Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths don't have problems. No need for them to change.

 

[StrummerJoe]

Raised by a malignant narcissist mother. LOTS of NYC $$. Super resentments. Her Dad left her mom 1974 in NYC, disappearing for 2 years and worked. Owned a yacht.

I won’t get into her criminal history past 20 years. It’s quite extensive. Mind boggling. Not directly involving me. The system. 58 days in jail.

Addicted to alcohol & rage. And shoplifting. smh Minus the alcohol she’s palatable. She collects SS $ for “anxiety.” WTF is that?

I am setting boundaries knowing that she is a Sociopath. A boundary as simple as eating hamburgers. It’s a nightmare. The bun is wrong, it’s never cooked right, the flavor of the meat…the toppings. The pickles…even when ordering out.

Spaghetti & meatballs absolute fav. She weaponizes food.

It’s my cross to bare. I am aware of DSM IV narcisissm, at least. There begins the coping. I am very fortunate in retirement. Her behavior likely contributing to my 100% VA rating. $3,800 monthly tax free on top of pension. No property tax. No mortgage.

Not all narcissists are Sociopaths. All Sociopaths are narcissists. A Sociopath is one who shreds societal norms, likely from an abusive childhood.

Also, failure to adapt to military lifestyle. Unbelievable crap.

She has never threatened to damage my guitar gear. Thank G-d! Threatening sugar in gas tank, yes. Recently I filed a complaint for that. It’s kinda first time I stood up for myself, minus contacting child protection services 2X. She’s on probation. Likely get a phone call.

She is going to be PISSED OFF! And that’s how it is. Instead of taking responsibility and blame for her own actions, she’ll turn it around and find fault with me.

Are you a masochist or is she a freak in the sheets that likes butt stuff?

 

[Whizzercone]

Are you a masochist or is she a freak in the sheets that likes butt stuff?

Crazy women are crazy.

 

[crossroadsnyc]

Leave ASAP. It will not change.

This isn't the first thread you've started on this topic, man ... I'm inclined to agree w/Whizzer on this one. How many good years do you have left? Think very carefully about the quality of life / memories you want to have as you fade into the sunset. Just because it's difficult, doesn't mean it's not the right decision. You don't deserve the abuse (and yes, it's abuse).

Oh, and stop wiping your ass with $500/month on the dumb horse ... that's literally just throwing your retirement down the toilet. Tell her she either sells the horse, or she picks up the cost on care. If she refuses both, call the local authorities for animal abuse and get it to a safe home.

 

[Deftone]

Are you a masochist or is she a freak in the sheets that likes butt stuff?

 

[Whizzercone]

You paid the freight for this woman's problems long enough. You don't deserve this shit because no one deserves this shit.
IMO

 

[Matthews Guitars]

Suddenly I feel happier about my lifetime single status. Oh, it gets lonely at times but then again think of all the shitstorms I have missed.

 

[Deftone]

Suddenly I feel happier about my lifetime single status. Oh, it gets lonely at times but then again think of all the shitstorms I have missed.

If she's not bringing at least an equal amount to the table, she's not worth the grief.

Starting over sucks at any age but people do it all the time.

 

[Ken Ops]

I feel.. kinda conflicted on things like this.

On the one hand, I had plenty of trauma and troubles while growing up, including doing some crime and dealing with “the system”. And yeah, I’m neurodivergent (sure, buzzword of the decade, but it’s still just what I am).

But on the other hand, I don’t go causing problems for other people, and haven’t for many years. In other words, I’ve learned, become a better person, all that good stuff.

Now, I do know that psychological conditions differ, as do personality types and life experiences, etc. So maybe in the end, that’s all it’s down to. *shrug*