Disrespecting other musicians gear

[10kDA]

To the OP: I guess it's all part of the "Live and Learn" paradigm. I learned never to let others use my gear at gigs unless I knew them well, had been in bands with them before, or they were in my current band. Otherwise, it's not happening. Having said that, I have loaned guitars to some players on a semi-longterm basis, players who were starting out or needed a guitar that was more suited to the music they were playing. But they were also well-known to me and I have a bunch of guitars, so it wasn't a big deal if I did not have those particular guitars immediately at hand.

My son is a pro drummer whose band headlines a lot of multi-band shows. Almost invariably he gets asked to supply the kit for the preceding bands. This requires him to be the first one there. Even though he stipulates the other drummers are to bring their own cymbals and throne, a lot of times they show up 5 minutes before they go on with only their own sticks! The arrogance of some of these punks is unbelievable. They almost never say thanks, or even stick around to hear the following bands. I think if one of them stayed and volunteered to help with tear down, he’d have a heart attack! He’s started to request $100 to help cover incidentals and for the hassle.

My drummer is a lefty. Yep - everything is mirrored right-to-left. He won't allow anybody to change or adjust anything, and NOBODY has even attempted to use his set, and we haven't run into another lefty drummer yet LOL. Problem not only solved, but so far nonexistent.

If you've never sacrificed ,and worked hard to obtain something,.....then you won't respect it.

I personally was taught to treat others stuff better than you treat your own.
I was taught this ,right after I was told not to ever borrow anyone's stuff.

When I borrowed vehicles from friends who were gracious enough to let me use their trucks or vans, I always washed them before returning them. It was the least I could do to let them know I really appreciated their generosity.

 

[TheKman76]

I personally was taught to treat others stuff better than you treat your own.
I was taught this ,right after I was told not to ever borrow anyone's stuff.

If you return gear better than you received it you're likely to get a "yes" next time you ask.
I'll wager this particular guitarist will get a "go jump off a bridge" next time.

And here's the life lesson from this experience: People who are well prepared, respect their own gear and that of others, are also the least likely to need help or ask for it. You'll recognise these people by the apologetic tone and utterances to the effect that they're very grateful and will replace anything that's damaged.

By contrast, when someone you've never even met is asking to borrow your gear, you can immediately assume they're under-prepared, have little or no respect for their own gear, or yours, and may well be utterly incompetent to boot. It's these types who are responsible for the expression "no good deed goes unpunished". I'm sure it was a forum member here who introduced me to the expression "poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine". Now those are some words to live by, right there.

 

[10kDA]

I'm sure it was a forum member here who introduced me to the expression "poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine". Now those are some words to live by, right there.

LOL that was me.
In a post about priorities at work or some such.

 

[TheKman76]

Oh yeah, favorite quips thread I think. I'm paraphrasing slightly, but the sentiment is the same. Never did make that office door sign.

 

[GuitarIV]

Ahhhh, yes, the old "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished" addage. I'm sorry you made the mistake of giving the benefit of the doubt to what appears to be the guitar equivalent of a homeless vagrant lifer.

Why are you bringing unprofessionals to open your show is the real question. Seriously, no disrespect whatsoever. We always setup our own shows, lined up all opening bands and brought them in on our gigs, handled all negotiations and payments. To even be considered your band had to be a net positive (good draw, professional stage-ready musicians, and at least 1 member had to have their business shit together.) The moment I was approached by anyone with "the opener needs your amp..." two weeks before the gig, it would have ended there: "<pause><loud laughter> Hell no man, and they're not opening either, wtf?" ....and booked another band to fill the slot.

I'm sorry ya got shat upon brother. Always trust your gut, I suspect you knew the moment this "guitarist" opened his mouth you knew it had bad news written all over it. Being nice is admirable, but always hang appropriate weights on the risks and possible outcomes of doing a good deed, and decide from there.

Maybe I'm just a jaded old curmudgeon too and completely full of shit. Either way...

The older I get the more I learn to trust my gut feeling. We are all told to "be nice" these days because people get offended so easily, but in the end the ones who speak their mind and stand behind something are always the ones that end up being admired, not the ones who shut up and act "nice". People are gonna be offended anyway, and again my gut was right. I the fool just chose to ignore it.

I didn't decide to bring that band to the show, the whole gig was organized by my bassist. He's a great guy, has lot of connections and he does our social media, videos and designs.


My drummer (who is good friends with the bassist of the opener band) made the suggestion to invite them.


The guys in my band are all from a different county, I'm the only one from the big city that drives 45 minutes to rehearsal and back. So in the scene there, I don't know a lot of people, I'm the guitar player on stage no one knows and everyone always asks about.


If it was up to me I wouldn't have invited them as opener as I used to play with the bassist my drummer is good friends with in a band and that dude is a dick. No wonder his guitar player is a douche as well.


So I really had no say in the matter unfortunately as I'm the guy from the city there...

It's pretty unfortunate that the other player was acting like a tool. I suppose you did all you could to get him to do the right thing, while being civil. That said, good gear is meant to be played and enjoyed. And a Marshall projects some musical expression that you are creating. Don't let anyone steal your fun or make you leave your good gear at home.

I don't want to leave it at home quite honestly. I worked hard for that equipment and I wanna make music with it. At the end of the day I just need to be more protective of it so nothing happens, I realized that now

Sucks that happened to you.
I have had people spill beer on my stuff, that’s why I have what I call “Bar gear” now. lol
But for the love of God!! Please don’t EVER spray WD40 in you pots

I've never used WD-40 on my pots, only DeOxit, but I know a bunch of dudes that do it and it seems to help. It's the one thing every guy has in his car, so that could have been a quick fix

Yea, I have had a few days like that.

You were too nice to that book.

The Marshall and Tele in your photo look awesome

They didn't only look awesome, the sound was amazing! The Silver Jubilee has a nice thick tone that compliments single coil and singlecoil sized humbucker guitars very well and the Telecaster sits in the mix perfectly.

I uploaded a quick clip from the show, still waiting for the full material but here's a snippet of us playing Killing in the name of:



Notice the twangy low end? It punches perfectly!

I agree with the previous poster who said bring your gear. Don't compromise for some idiot.
Tell your friend you'll never allow anyone to use your gear ever again. Period. Tell anyone who asks at the gig itself.
Let the idiot fix his own gear and sit back and TRY to relax (it's hard yeah I know) while he looks like a doofus.

Unless you're a house band expected to provide a backline, you're under no obligation to share gear. Period.

Yeah, I will have a talk with the band next rehearsal and tell them I'll never let that happen again. I'll also tell my guitar player that from now on he can lend his stuff, no one's touching mine

I once had a drunk guy come up to the stage and spill his entire beer all over my pedalboard. I quickly unplugged my board and let everything dry out for a week before I powered it back up. Luckily, nothing got ruined, but that guy sure did get an ass chewing from me.

I never take my good gear out on gigs anymore. I don't play a lot of gigs, but who I do, I bring my cheaper guitars, a small amp, and only a few pedals. It's not worth something happening to my gear. Especially, when I'm not making enough money from gigging to replace that gear if something happens to it. Sucks to gig with amps and gear that isn't my main stuff, but it's worth it for the peace of mind that I'm not out a shit ton of money if something gets damaged or stolen.

I do have cheaper guitars and I can build an easy and simple board. In the end I just need a crunchy Marshall type of sound, a tuner, an OD pedal and my volume and tone knobs. It's just annoying that the one time I decide to bring my really nice stuff something like that happens...

 

[GuitarIV]

Why didn't your guitarist lend his rig instead of asking you for yours?

The first guy I would let have it is your other guitarist for putting you in that situation. Let him borrow his gear to these meat heads. I've helped a lot of people over the years, some very appreciative, others not so much. I like helping people, and sharing the experience of playing through some nice stuff. But in the end, I've had to learn how to say no, and create some boundaries, because too many people don't have manners, courtesy, or common sense. And in the end, it will cost you, not them. That stress and irritation is all it takes to throw me out of my zone. Screw that lol.

I didn't even catch the part ,
that the other guitarist volunteered your gear to a grifter. (Have pick ,will travel)

Nice guy huh?
The balls on some people.
The other hired gun would have felt my wrath, for forcing me into that position.

No is my favorite word these days,and I'm not afraid to exercise it. Nor do I feel pressured ,or on the spotted by anyone. Sharing gear is a nono, perhaps if it's a credible/respectful player that I know, then maybe. Only to help someone out of equipment malfunction jam, and that's a big maybe. But for a random grifter, that's a big negatory.
F*ckers like that come into your home for the first time, and put their feet up on your coffee table too.

If you've never sacrificed ,and worked hard to obtain something,.....then you won't respect it.

I personally was taught to treat others stuff better than you treat your own.
I was taught this ,right after I was told not to ever borrow anyone's stuff.

In regards to my other guitar player...

Notice on the recording how he has all the space in the world on the right hand side of the stage and me any my bassist are cramped up in the left side corner? (looking at the stage)

He has been acting like a dick for some time now.

I had to work so I wasn't able to be at the venue and help setup the stage two days prior. My guitarist was there and he set it up in a way so he has all the space and me and the bassist were banned to cuddle in the corner.

Everytime I show up with a new guitar or amp or gadget you can see he's annoyed and jealous. But that's not the problem.

Whenever we play a show I have people he knows and I've never seen in my life give me compliments for my playing. In front of him. I can tell he doesn't like that.

He fucks up his parts on a regular basis live and he doesn't practice enough. He bought his Kemper and asked me if he could profile my 2203. I let him do that and still my halfstack buries him in the mix.

I have the feeling that it's the jealousy that makes him act that way when in the end all he needs to do is practice more. I want this band to work but quite honestly if he was to be kicked out tomorrow we'd work better than we do now.

I also suspect that that's the reason he suggested I lend my stuff to the idiot guitarist and he didn't offer his rig.

Sometimes you have a member of the band it would be better to kick out than to continue playing with. But again, I'm the guy from the city and not a founding member, so I can't suggest to have him removed. I can quit myself and find a different band or make my own...

 

[MickeyS]

@GuitarIV that sucks man, many of us have dealt with the same kind of fools and feel your pain. Sounds like a jealous, insecure dude with an ego to match. People like that are toxic and drag down something that should be fun and fulfilling.

 

[Rozman62]

Here is an example of a proper response... Hey, mind if I use your gear?
Yes, I mind and don't ask me again. I worked hard for my gear, please do the same.

 

[Marshall Stack]

The older I get the more I learn to trust my gut feeling. We are all told to "be nice" these days because people get offended so easily, but in the end the ones who speak their mind and stand behind something are always the ones that end up being admired, not the ones who shut up and act "nice". People are gonna be offended anyway, and again my gut was right. I the fool just chose to ignore it.

I didn't decide to bring that band to the show, the whole gig was organized by my bassist. He's a great guy, has lot of connections and he does our social media, videos and designs.


My drummer (who is good friends with the bassist of the opener band) made the suggestion to invite them.


The guys in my band are all from a different county, I'm the only one from the big city that drives 45 minutes to rehearsal and back. So in the scene there, I don't know a lot of people, I'm the guitar player on stage no one knows and everyone always asks about.


If it was up to me I wouldn't have invited them as opener as I used to play with the bassist my drummer is good friends with in a band and that dude is a dick. No wonder his guitar player is a douche as well.


So I really had no say in the matter unfortunately as I'm the guy from the city there...



I don't want to leave it at home quite honestly. I worked hard for that equipment and I wanna make music with it. At the end of the day I just need to be more protective of it so nothing happens, I realized that now



I've never used WD-40 on my pots, only DeOxit, but I know a bunch of dudes that do it and it seems to help. It's the one thing every guy has in his car, so that could have been a quick fix



They didn't only look awesome, the sound was amazing! The Silver Jubilee has a nice thick tone that compliments single coil and singlecoil sized humbucker guitars very well and the Telecaster sits in the mix perfectly.

I uploaded a quick clip from the show, still waiting for the full material but here's a snippet of us playing Killing in the name of:



Notice the twangy low end? It punches perfectly!



Yeah, I will have a talk with the band next rehearsal and tell them I'll never let that happen again. I'll also tell my guitar player that from now on he can lend his stuff, no one's touching mine



I do have cheaper guitars and I can build an easy and simple board. In the end I just need a crunchy Marshall type of sound, a tuner, an OD pedal and my volume and tone knobs. It's just annoying that the one time I decide to bring my really nice stuff something like that happens...

I have the 75th Anniversary Tele myself and I love it.

You nail the tone perfectly. Great playing.

 

[betacisse]

I started from a completely diy background and it was really usual that the biggest band brought their backline and the other bands could use the cabs and sometimes even amps. My band was of age sixteen/seventeen when we were asked to play first times so we didnt have licenses or cars since here you need to be 18 to drive. So we usually used train or a bus to get to other cities/around. When I got a decent head I started lugging that around and got better gear as time went by.

And after that I have always lent my cabs or heads if someone needed one with no problem ever. And even sometimes my pedals if the other bands cant get enough control over my jmp and the fellow asking seems friendly, respecting and trustworthy.

Long story short; we got helped when we were kids/poor and with shitty gear so I want to do the same.

Ofcourse I always expect people to bring their own heads and pedals but co-operation and being friendly are important in ”underground” scenes such as rock n roll these days in my country. On tour its a different thing, but my cabs are always available and I help people to connect their amps correctly.

I understand not wanting to lend stuff too, no one has to, but always be friendly and helpful to other people within your boundaries and it usually pays off in the end.

 

[giblesp]

If I were to gig where there are alcohol and idiots (the world's worse combination), I wouldn't take my best gear.

Have a Classic Player Strat that I bought already dinged up. Solid instrument. I'd be using that plus my worn in DSL 401.

Maybe get a used DSL head and cab, they go relatively cheap on ebay. Get a 'beater,' Mexican Tele for nights like these, with a pup upgrade that's going to be a good rig.

I think you're too generous to people who don't deserve your time dude.

 

[V-Type]

Sounds like you have a communication problem in your band. Your other guitarist seem's way too open offering up the use of your Marshall and rig for his friends rather than his own gear. That 's Red Flag 1. Red Flag 2 is why doesnt this opening band have their own gear? Red Flag 3 is the guy's meh attitude about your gear from the onset. You should probably set some ground rules with your band specifically no loansy and no borrows period. I'd had been pissed the moment my guitarist offered up my amp instead of his. Ymmv.

 

[StrummerJoe]

Nobody likes a can't.

 

[StrummerJoe]

The older I get the more I learn to trust my gut feeling. We are all told to "be nice" these days because people get offended so easily, but in the end the ones who speak their mind and stand behind something are always the ones that end up being admired, not the ones who shut up and act "nice". People are gonna be offended anyway, and again my gut was right. I the fool just chose to ignore it.

I didn't decide to bring that band to the show, the whole gig was organized by my bassist. He's a great guy, has lot of connections and he does our social media, videos and designs.


My drummer (who is good friends with the bassist of the opener band) made the suggestion to invite them.


The guys in my band are all from a different county, I'm the only one from the big city that drives 45 minutes to rehearsal and back. So in the scene there, I don't know a lot of people, I'm the guitar player on stage no one knows and everyone always asks about.


If it was up to me I wouldn't have invited them as opener as I used to play with the bassist my drummer is good friends with in a band and that dude is a dick. No wonder his guitar player is a douche as well.


So I really had no say in the matter unfortunately as I'm the guy from the city there...



I don't want to leave it at home quite honestly. I worked hard for that equipment and I wanna make music with it. At the end of the day I just need to be more protective of it so nothing happens, I realized that now



I've never used WD-40 on my pots, only DeOxit, but I know a bunch of dudes that do it and it seems to help. It's the one thing every guy has in his car, so that could have been a quick fix



They didn't only look awesome, the sound was amazing! The Silver Jubilee has a nice thick tone that compliments single coil and singlecoil sized humbucker guitars very well and the Telecaster sits in the mix perfectly.

I uploaded a quick clip from the show, still waiting for the full material but here's a snippet of us playing Killing in the name of:



Notice the twangy low end? It punches perfectly!



Yeah, I will have a talk with the band next rehearsal and tell them I'll never let that happen again. I'll also tell my guitar player that from now on he can lend his stuff, no one's touching mine



I do have cheaper guitars and I can build an easy and simple board. In the end I just need a crunchy Marshall type of sound, a tuner, an OD pedal and my volume and tone knobs. It's just annoying that the one time I decide to bring my really nice stuff something like that happens...

But you did have a choice. Sounds like you learned something though.

I'm just glad it wasn't a really tough lesson.

 

[Ken Ops]

Been in very similar situations a couple of times. **** that. One of those times I had to literally threaten the guy in question, or yep, my gear was going to get beer all over it, and no way was I putting up with that.

 

[TPR]

There are a lot of idiots everywhere. My fellow guitarist in the band doesn't know anything about gear. He barely knows how to change strings on his guitars. I do all maintenance on his TSL100.

I have told people in bands that I am happy to help here and there when needed, but their tasks should not become my responsibilities. It's not worth it to play with someone who can't be bothered to take care of their own equipment or do things that each member should be doing for themselves.

 

[TPR]

The older I get the more I learn to trust my gut feeling. We are all told to "be nice" these days because people get offended so easily

Being nice doesn't mean bending over and taking it. It just means don't go out of your way to be an asshole, and respect people until they do something to earn your disrespect. This guy clearly earned your disrespect in about 10 seconds, and more importantly, didn't make any effort to get your respect back. You have every right to protect your gear.

 

[10kDA]

Look at it this way - If you say "No" they can always ask someone else, and someone else, and someone else, until they find the person who says "Yes." If they can't find that person, well, then they've exhausted their available options. Personally I don't put myself in the position to be somebody's only option. As TPR states - their tasks do not become your responsibilities.

 

[Kuga]

I have told people in bands that I am happy to help here and there when needed, but their tasks should not become my responsibilities. It's not worth it to play with someone who can't be bothered to take care of their own equipment or do things that each member should be doing for themselves.

I agree. Always I help everybody. Even I fixed cracks on symbals from a drumer friend. He needed It because their band had a concert. If the crack is on the side of the symbal, you make a half-circumference cut. They do not break again due to the cut. But you need to be a professional when you are on stage. Spare cables, picks, etc..

 

[TheLoudness!!]

Uh yeah man , ok .....you can use my gear

That rig is glorious compared to what I started with lol