Things that people don't tell you before you have a kid

[What?]

Everything will take at least 2x as long to get done.
Daycare is a merry-go-round of sickness.
...

 

[fitz]

The smell of clean shirts makes them barf.

 

[DirtySteve]

From what I hear it's totally worth it, but I wouldn't know.

 

[nortiks]

When they are two or three, it feels like it will take 50 years to get them off to college.
When they go off to college, it feels like it was only 5 years ago that they were two or three.

 

[What?]

From what I hear it's totally worth it, but I wouldn't know.

I spent my younger years kidless, and I'm glad that I did so. I got to do a lot of exploring of this and that. Looking back, I also wasted too much time. I recognize too that virtually all parents I know who had kids in their younger years are ignorant to so many things because of so much time being spent raising their kids. Now that my kid is here I wouldn't give her up for anything. And I will probably regret getting less time with her as she gets older due to waiting so long. I wouldn't recommend to anyone waiting until your 40's to have a kid, but then again, I'm glad that I did.

 

[nortiks]

I spent my younger years kidless, and I'm glad that I did so. I got to do a lot of exploring of this and that. Looking back, I also wasted too much time. I recognize too that virtually all parents I know who had kids in their younger years are ignorant to so many things because of so much time being spent raising their kids. Now that my kid is here I wouldn't give her up for anything. And I will probably regret getting less time with her as she gets older due to waiting so long. I wouldn't recommend to anyone waiting until your 40's to have a kid, but then again, I'm glad that I did.

Same here, lol I was 50 for my first and like you, glad I waited. Kids got a much better dad than would have happened if I did all of that "on time". But you're right about the flip side of having less time with them going forward...gotta make every day count.

 

[DirtySteve]

I spent my younger years kidless, and I'm glad that I did so. I got to do a lot of exploring of this and that. Looking back, I also wasted too much time. I recognize too that virtually all parents I know who had kids in their younger years are ignorant to so many things because of so much time being spent raising their kids. Now that my kid is here I wouldn't give her up for anything. And I will probably regret getting less time with her as she gets older due to waiting so long. I wouldn't recommend to anyone waiting until your 40's to have a kid, but then again, I'm glad that I did.

That's truly awesome, man. I'm 56 (almost 57) and I figure that ship has sailed for me.

 

[Whizzercone]

No one knows what they are doing. It's all experimental trial by fire BS.

 

[DirtySteve]

Boy or girl?

 

[Leonard Neemoil]

I already knew that kids ruin lives so I purposely never had any. I thank God every day that I never created a little "mistake" to say it nicely.

When we were in our 20s, I used to get such a kick out of my friends that always said they didn't ever want kids, only to go on about how it was the best thing ever after they had an accident. Then they'd constantly complain about the kid(s).

Because they said it was the best, I seriously think they wanted everyone else to be as miserable as them. Lol

Wife and I are beyond that point now so I suppose I'm in the clear aside from her bratty offspring...

 

[DirtySteve]

When I was younger all I wanted was a wife and kids. Well, that never happened for me, wasn't in the cards. I'm ok with that, but I always wonder what it would have been like. Then I think about the crazy bipolar bitches I always seemed to attract and I'm thankful there were never any accidents.

 

[Vinsanitizer]

The reason I don't have kids is because I don't need any more government control in my life.

 

[Deftone]

The reason I don't have kids is I'd like to enjoy my life. So far it's been working out pretty good.

 

[StrummerJoe]

I wouldn't know. Good luck.

 

[JohnH]

Heads up guys:

The only shirts that provide adequate camouflage against baby-sick stains have been out of fashion since 1973.

If they swallow a 1c coin, you need to go through every diaper with a paddle-pop stick until you find it. And when you do it will be bright and shiny. Ask me how I know. (There was one we never found but ive stopped looking, he's 32 now.)

Little boxes of raisins are a great distraction on a long road trip, and 90% of them will become part of the back-seat upholstery.

 

[Geeze]

I was 39 when my one and only child was born. Greatest gift from God ever - of course he was nothing like me growing up much to my mom's annoyance. He was fortunate I waited as if I'd had kids in my teens/20's you woulda seen 'em on Jerry Springer or COPS. So NOT parent material.

Great milestones in a dad's life -
Birth
Potty training
When I could actually reason with him
Watching him work his way through the world
College graduation AKA the bank of Dad closed

Future?

As I have several hundred pounds of legos + Thomas the Tank Engine bits, guns of every sort, guitar gear, wood gear and the loving willingness to corrupt the absolute shit out of grandkids I'm looking forward to the next milestones. 'Lookee here, this is a Marshall Superlead. Turn all them knobs to right. Take that cigarette out of your mouth, brace yourself and hit this A chord...

Of course he'd have to find a gal and do all of the bits necessary to produce my future crop of corruptees but I suspect it's going to be awhile.

Russ

 

[rmlevasseur]

Same here, lol I was 50 for my first and like you, glad I waited. Kids got a much better dad than would have happened if I did all of that "on time". But you're right about the flip side of having less time with them going forward...gotta make every day count.

I have the opposite feeling. I didnt have kids until I was 33. it's true I was financially stable and probably more mature, but I had some health issues at 40 that took 10 years to really recover from. I really would have liked to stay on the basketball court with my kids longer and just have been a little more youthful for them.

 

[nortiks]

I have the opposite feeling. I didnt have kids until I was 33. it's true I was financially stable and probably more mature, but I had some health issues at 40 that took 10 years to really recover from. I really would have liked to stay on the basketball court with my kids longer and just have been a little more youthful for them.

Fortunately I've always been involved in sports and still fairly well preserved...can still do baseball workouts with my high schooler. Sort of. lol.

 

[Whizzercone]

I guess I will tell you how to be a good parent. And this shit was luck that just made sense. Even now, my kids, 5 of them, come to me first and apologize for bothering me with their bullshit.
Be honest. Be supportive. Do not fight your kids, you are in charge. Allow them enough rope to hang themselves, but cut them down before they die. Don't give them things they can directly rebel against. Kids are dumbasses. They aren't that hard to outsmart. If you are going to do things like restriction, just tell them they are on restriction and when they ask what they can do, tell them they will know when they screw up. When they ask how long, tell them it really isn't your problem. Fuck reading. Teach them to problem solve. Everyone needs algebra. Teach your kid the concept early. If your kid acts the fool in public, do not threaten them unless you are going to follow through.
Most importantly. Tell your kids you love them and be quick to apologize when you screw up.

 

[C-Grin]

One of the things you learn is how long you can go on no sleep. I think my second kid was actually trying to kill me . He’s 30 now and I’m still a little suspicious of the whole thing.