Putting things into perspective [warning: bummer thread, but with a silver lining]

[FleshOnGear]

Today my brother’s doctors dropped the statistic that patients in his position have a 90% mortality rate over three months. It will be longer than that before he can be considered for a liver transplant, because of the circumstances of his struggle with alcohol. I’m just numb right now.

 

[TheKman76]

I'm sorry to here it, mate.

This may sound cold, but I doesn't hurt to start getting his affairs in order. It's simpler and less painful to get started while he's still with us. In my experience it can be cathartic and help you be closer in the time left. If things go well for him, and we all hope they do, you'll be closer for having been through it together.

 

[BlueX]

Very sorry to hear this. Sending thoughts your way and hoping for the best.

 

[FleshOnGear]

Things are starting to look better for my brother. He’s been moved to another hospital where the transplant team is a little more aggressive in their approach, so he may get a liver sooner. His blood pressure has finally come up to normal so dialysis has been possible.

I found out that he was in septic shock when he was first admitted. I didn’t know this previously. The survival rate for septic shock is pretty low, and he managed to fight through that, which is encouraging. I feel hopeful for him.

 

[FleshOnGear]

Great news! My brother has already been approved for a transplant by the liver team at the new hospital! He was only there for a week and they already did all of the necessary medical tests to see if he was eligible and physically able to have the procedure. My family is particularly grateful for the help of a traveling nurse at the first hospital, who told us that we should move him to the current hospital. She was absolutely right.

 

[FleshOnGear]

My brother just woke up from his liver transplant, and appears to be doing well! So far this has gone way better than we expected, so I am filled with hope.

 

[BlueX]

My brother just woke up from his liver transplant, and appears to be doing well! So far this has gone way better than we expected, so I am filled with hope.

Glad to hear those news, hope it turns out well!

 

[Whizzercone]

My brother just woke up from his liver transplant, and appears to be doing well! So far this has gone way better than we expected, so I am filled with hope.

I hope your brother does well and makes the changes he needs to make, but addiction is a bitch.

 

[Bull Rock]

Hey man I've been Mia for a few months so I'm just catching up now....sorry to hear about the wife and brother. Glad he's in a better position. Sometimes all we have is hope. You are right on the stuff thing. Guitars cars all that shit means nothing without health etc. That being said, hopefully you're not pissed at this next statement...several of my friends and myself have been in your shoes with the misses. The problem we all agreed on is if you try and work it out it will be forever in the back of your mind wondering is she really happy and is she gonna want to leave again. Those thoughts will eat a man up. I say if she wants space, tell her hey I love you but you do you. Dont plead her to stay. Chin up even if it's only an act. Then eventually she will be questioning her own decisions. Keep busy. Go out. Join a dart league, join a band whatever. You will eventually find someone else that jives with you the way you are. Sending my best wishes everything works out for the best for you and your brother. Never settle man...life is too short. She will regret it because the grass is rarely greener. Truth. Good luck and good vibes

 

[Dogs of Doom]

great news!

I pray he'll have a good recovery from here on out...

 

[TheKman76]

Man that's fast! Here's to a speedy recovery.

 

[FleshOnGear]

Hey man I've been Mia for a few months so I'm just catching up now....sorry to hear about the wife and brother. Glad he's in a better position. Sometimes all we have is hope. You are right on the stuff thing. Guitars cars all that shit means nothing without health etc. That being said, hopefully you're not pissed at this next statement...several of my friends and myself have been in your shoes with the misses. The problem we all agreed on is if you try and work it out it will be forever in the back of your mind wondering is she really happy and is she gonna want to leave again. Those thoughts will eat a man up. I say if she wants space, tell her hey I love you but you do you. Dont plead her to stay. Chin up even if it's only an act. Then eventually she will be questioning her own decisions. Keep busy. Go out. Join a dart league, join a band whatever. You will eventually find someone else that jives with you the way you are. Sending my best wishes everything works out for the best for you and your brother. Never settle man...life is too short. She will regret it because the grass is rarely greener. Truth. Good luck and good vibes

I appreciate your point of view, even though I don’t necessarily agree. I can see how that approach would be the best in certain situations, between some men and women, but I don’t believe it applies to me and my wife.

I don’t mean to say that somehow she and I are special, meant to be together more than other couples. The fact is that we are both weirdos, oddballs, outcasts. I can’t imagine having to find another woman like her. And I believe that she has agreed to accompany me this far because deep down she believes we are a great pair that just needs some help.

We had a breakthrough today in this week’s therapy session. I feel really good about us right now. Things are looking up.

 

[Cal Nevari]

My brother just woke up from his liver transplant, and appears to be doing well! So far this has gone way better than we expected, so I am filled with hope.

That’s fantastic news! So happy for you and your family!