What Would You Do?

[Torren61]

I'm trying to gauge my reaction to an incident yesterday and compare it to what YOU would do.

Yesterday was my day to work on my yard and get some things done. I've been working a lot and it's been raining and too wet to cut my grass and Saturday was a "MY DAY" day. So I started working on chores yesterday.

I spent hours cutting my grass and weed eating. I got everything looking really good. The last thing was to bust out my blower and clear the walkways on my property and my next door neighbor.

I was doing the last of it in my front yard and I noticed a piece of blue paper. It was thin and about an inch wide and two inches long. I picked it up and noticed another one. Then another. I looked in my neighbor's yard and she had quite a few in her yard. She's 90 years old and I figured she threw this paper in her trash can and missed some.

Then I looked in my back yard and saw a lot of this stuff. I'm thinking "What did I hit? What IS this stuff?" I walked further into my back yard and this paper was EVERYWHERE. I looked in my other neighbor's yard and he had two or three times as much as what was in my yard. Then I saw a large mixed group of people partying on a deck in the next yard beyond my other neighbor and I started to put things together.

It's a boy.

I've just spent hours working on my yard and there's a hundred pieces of paper blowing all over it so I say to the people on the deck, "Hey, ya'll need to come over here and pick this up. I worked for three hours on my yard and I don't want it here."

There's a mix of replies. "Hey everybody, it's Mr. Personality.", "It's biodegradable!", "Oh, you want me to come over and pick it up a piece at a time?", "What are you gonna do, call 911?"

The first call I made was to my neighbor in between me and the happy father. He looked out his yard and saw the mess but he's not one for confrontation. The second call I made was to the local police dispatch. I didn't want anyone arrested, I just wanted someone with some authority to, hopefully, tell these people to come get their paper out of my yard.

I went back in my house and a few minutes later there was a knock at my door and it's three men and three women with a leaf rake, a shop broom and a couple of baskets to pick up the paper. I called dispatch and asked them to cancel the cop and the group went to work picking up paper. I helped.

The father of the groom and the father were surly while the father of the bride was apologetic and amiable. We got it all picked up and I went over to my 90 year old neighbor's house and picked up the rest from her property.

Maybe it IS biodegradable but I have nothing to do with the kid being born or anyone over there. How long does it take to disappear? How long do I have to look at it after all my hard work?

The thing that REALLY gets me is the sense of entitlement, the unapologetic attitude, the beligerence and the lack of mindfulness and consideration for anyone else but themselves. I mean, they bought the "reveal" cannon and knew there was going to be hundreds and hundreds of these pieces of paper scattered everywhere but they did it anyway without going around the neighborhood and asking if we minded. Why not do the reveal a different way like blue smoke or give everyone a sealed envelope with a blue card or ANYTHING but send paper all over my "castle" grounds?

How would you have reacted?

 

[crossroadsnyc]

Welcoming a new baby is a massive blessing, so I would have probably just taken one for the team and cleaned it up myself. It's just hard for me to imagine being upset over a joyous situation like that. Hate to tell you this, but you are probably "the grinch" neighbor at this point.

 

[lespaul339]

That would have pissed me off as well. I would have asked nicely the first time for them to clean it up. Congratulate them. but ask them to clean up the mess so it didn't blow around the neighborhood. If I was met with shitty backlash and comments like you were, then I would've been pissed and done the same thing as you. I don't think you over reacted. You shouldn't inconvenience your neighbors with your celebration. If I had to clean up my yard over my neighbors celebration and put up with smart ass backlash from their friends and family, I would be pissed as well.


I also spend a lot of time making my yard look nice and I spend a lot of money every year hiring a lawn service that comes and treats my yard 4 times a year with weed and feed chemicals. I have a trashy neighbor that lives up the road. There is litterally trash all over their yard. It looks like a junkyard. I get their trash blowing into my yard whenever it's a windy day. They can clearly see it blowing around the neighborhood and they just don't care. There's empty cans and bottles everywhere. Trash bags outside with trash all around them.

I saw their garage door open and their garage was literally full of trash bags piled up as high as the ceiling. I don't get how some people can live like that. I wrote a letter to the city complaining about how trashy their property is and that the trash filled garage was a fire hazard and that they need to give them a clean up notice. I don't think a anything ever came of it because their yard still looks like a junkyard and last time I saw their garage open it still looked the same. It sucks when you have shitty neighbors.

 

[Dave_11]

We're having a baby! That makes it OK for us to make a huge mess in other people's yards! Nope.

 

[Lo-Tek]

I'd probably do what Crossroads said- just let it pass if they are typically okay neighbors.

Pretty dumb though to spray junk everywhere. On the plus side, at least they did not launch 3 dozen balloons to drift off to god knows where.
Is it just me or are gender reveal parties kind of silly to begin with??

 

[Torren61]

Welcoming a new baby is a massive blessing, so I would have probably just taken one for the team and cleaned it up myself. It's just hard for me to imagine being upset over a joyous situation like that. Hate to tell you this, but you are probably "the grinch" neighbor at this point.

So where is the line? At what point do I have a right to have a nice clean yard devoid of anyone else's trash? I was minding my own business and my "castle" rights were infringed upon. And as far as their new baby is concerned, I don't know them.

Think about it this way, what if you just spent three hours cleaning and washing your car and I come by and dump some blue powder all over your car but I yell "IT'S A BOY!! WOOHOO!" Are you gonna just laugh it off?

 

[Torren61]

I'd probably do what Crossroads said- just let it pass if they are typically okay neighbors.

Pretty dumb though to spray junk everywhere. On the plus side, at least they did not launch 3 dozen ballots to drift off to god knows where.
Is it just me or are gender reveal parties kind of silly to begin with??

Personally, I think they're stupid. There are tons of videos online of them going south quickly. Why can't you just get the group together and simply make the announcement and have a toast? Why not blue smoke? How about a singing telegram or anything less intrusive to people who actually don't have anything to do with them and their baby and are just trying to have a productive and quiet Sunday at their own home?

 

[lespaul339]

I think some people get way too out of hand with the gender reveal parties. You hear of people getting hurt or killed or starting neighbors houses on fire with their stupid antics. Whatever happened to just announcing it like a normal person?

 

[BlueX]

Personally, I think they're stupid. There are tons of videos online of them going south quickly. Why can't you just get the group together and simply make the announcement and have a toast? Why not blue smoke? How about a singing telegram or anything less intrusive to people who actually don't have anything to do with them and their baby and are just trying to have a productive and quiet Sunday at their own home?

They could have hired you:
If you play Whole Lotta Love (LZ) it's a boy
If you play Barracuda (Heart) it's a girl

 

[crossroadsnyc]

So where is the line? At what point do I have a right to have a nice clean yard devoid of anyone else's trash? I was minding my own business and my "castle" rights were infringed upon. And as far as their new baby is concerned, I don't know them.

Think about it this way, what if you just spent three hours cleaning and washing your car and I come by and dump some blue powder all over your car but I yell "IT'S A BOY!! WOOHOO!" Are you gonna just laugh it off?

I suppose the line for me would be the relationship I've had w/them over time ... if they have a history of trashing the neighborhood, then yeah, I could see being upset, but if they've otherwise been good neighbors, I'd just chalk it up to doing the 'neighborly thing'.

 

[BlueX]

-- Bad attitude when you have created problems for someone else makes me mad. Not always I can de-escalate.
- Causing this problem to begin with is just arrogant and respectless, regardless of event or reason for it. Can be a sympton of personality disorder not to think of consequences, but the "grandparents-to-be" should be grown-up enough to think ahead.

+ Good that you de-escalated and helped cleaning up. I think your neighbors should apologise.
++ Very good that you helped your older neighbor. One of the corner-stones of a working civilisation.

 

[Torren61]

I suppose the line for me would be the relationship I've had w/them over time ... if they have a history of trashing the neighborhood, then yeah, I could see being upset, but if they've otherwise been good neighbors, I'd just chalk it up to doing the 'neighborly thing'.

I don't know them and they don't know me. I often come home or go out to see someone has thrown a McDonald's cup or some other trash on my street in front of my house and it ends up in my yard. My house and yard are clean.

A few years ago, I spent (no kidding) around $30,000 counting materials and equipment rentals removing excessive overgrowth, leveling out the grounds, stump removal, concrete removal, building a 300' wooden fence, old fence removal and putting in watering troughs as planters. My wife and I busted our asses in labor. We did the entire thing ourselves. It took weeks. I planted new grass. It's still not finished. The house is appraised at nearly $500k.

On top of all that, my wife is sick from COVID. I'm stressed the f#ck out because of it. So when I came around the house to see all of that paper all over my yard, I was livid and THEN to have them get mouthy with me during my attempt to open a dialog burned my ass.

But I'M the "grinch". Whatever happened to respecting your neighbors and being considerate?

 

[Gunner64]

How about a new 100w Marshall stack day reveal at 3am,..just to get even..

 

[Torren61]

The town I live in is small. A lot of people have lived here all their lives. My next door neighbor was the (to avoid politics) head of the town. She was the worst neighbor i ever had. Her dogs barked all day and all night. Her grandkids threw sticks and toys and boots over my fence into my yard. We don't live out in the country. It's a subdivision. My neighbor's houses on either side are about 20'- 25" from wall to wall. It's like living in a dorm.

The "neighbor" (who eventually moved, thank goodness) once came onto my property and cut my front hedge and mangled it. When I confronted them, they said it was their hedge because they planted it 30 years ago. (Yeah, really.) It was 100% on my property. So I cut it to the ground and dug up the roots and then covered it with gravel to add to my parking.

They had a backyard spotlight that they would turn on and it shined into my master bathroom window and lit up my bedroom like the sun was up. We had reached a sort of detente until one night after the hedge incident where they "punished" me at 10pm with the light. I went out to my studio and set up my Metropoulos 50 watt head and 2X12 cab, pointed it at their house and plugged in my Les Paul. I turned the volume up to 10 and gave them a few power chords until the light was extinguished. Fortunately, the new neighbors are great.

 

[Torren61]

How about a new 100w Marshall stack day reveal at 3am,..just to get even..

You beat me to it, lol. I don't have a 100 watt amp.

 

[Gunner64]

You beat me to it, lol. I don't have a 100 watt amp.

A 50w will do just fine.

 

[crossroadsnyc]

I don't know them and they don't know me. I often come home or go out to see someone has thrown a McDonald's cup or some other trash on my street in front of my house and it ends up in my yard. My house and yard are clean.

A few years ago, I spent (no kidding) around $30,000 counting materials and equipment rentals removing excessive overgrowth, leveling out the grounds, stump removal, concrete removal, building a 300' wooden fence, old fence removal and putting in watering troughs as planters. My wife and I busted our asses in labor. We did the entire thing ourselves. It took weeks. I planted new grass. It's still not finished. The house is appraised at nearly $500k.

On top of all that, my wife is sick from COVID. I'm stressed the f#ck out because of it. So when I came around the house to see all of that paper all over my yard, I was livid and THEN to have them get mouthy with me during my attempt to open a dialog burned my ass.

But I'M the "grinch". Whatever happened to respecting your neighbors and being considerate?

Sadly, I think respecting your neighbors / being considerate has been kind of old fashioned for a long time now.

 

[TXOldRedRocker]

I'd have asked then to clean it up. Just as you did. Congratulations. Now send a few people over to clean it up, in both yards.

Gender reveals are f'n stupid. Even the one for my first grandson was stupid. They did the "smoke" poppers, which are just a bunch blue dust. It was done in the backyard of my in-laws. Shortly after the reveal, the father of the father, my in-law, noticed his next door neighbor out washing his clean white truck that was now blue from all the dust. As was his driveway, back patio, etc. He, my in-law, didn't tell anyone. So I didn't know, or I would have helped. But my in-law went over there and helped him wash his truck and was away all the blue all over his property.

As said above, just get people together and have one person announce it verbally, "You're having a boy!" "Woo hoo!"

If you feel a gender reveal party is necessary, which they aren't, IMHO.

 

[DBi5]

It's a boy.

 

[lespaul339]

They all float down here.