Worst First Dates

[FutureProf88]

hey @FutureProf88

ive been wondering , when you become a prof, are you gonna change your screen name?

Man I'm hoping to graduate this summer and I've been wondering about that! Hahahaha it's low on the list of priorities right now but it occurred to me.

However, if we wanted to get technical about it... to be considered an actual "professor," you have to be tenured at a university and the tenure process can take many, many years. So I could technically be a junior faculty member and the name would still apply.

 

[DaDoc]

(Just a little perspective from what some of you young chaps may still call a geezer).

It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier back in my day.

Girls were plentiful and they were actually really, really fun to be with.

They could party with the boys, but they knew they were still young ladies.

We didn't call them "hoes and beeotches" either. In fact, I don't recall much name calling at all, not even when things got heated.

Young men and women back then actually got along really well and we learned how to grow up together. It was a special time !

No one was confused on who had what body parts or why. Even the hot closet lesbian in our circle was fun to party with. We didn't judge.

Girlfriends didn't expect their boyfriends to be their surrogate girlfriend. We had our roles and it made sense. It felt natural.

No one had this confounded internet/social media disaster or a dumb phone device. We handled our shit in person or we just let things slide.

We were guys and did a lot of guy things and didn't tip toe around it. We drove very fast cars and survived, and didn't get caught. Gas was .89 cents.

We didn't ask for permission, but always included our girlfriends in whatever was going on.

We even opened the door for them (because we wanted to show respect) and it was actually appreciated. No dirty looks. No scoffs and huffs !

There wasn't the whole feminazi thing like today. The only feminist-like girl I remember had teachers for parents. The girl was not liked.

I saw everything drastically change sometime in the early 90's and not for the better. Relationships, families, economies, government, etc.

In hind sight, the 80's were great, fun, peaceful and satisfying. I liked people back then. Now, not so much.

Things change, not always for the better. Some may disagree.

It might just be easier to become a monk these days.

Amen, brother!

 

[johnny q]

I went on a blind date with a girl once and she left with another guy. No, it wasn't her Dad giving her a ride home, it was some guy she was making out with! This was at a now defunct Jersey supper club called Club Bene.

 

[Barfly]

I went on a blind date with a girl once and she left with another guy. No, it wasn't her Dad giving her a ride home, it was some guy she was making out with! This was at a now defunct Jersey supper club called Club Bene.

God, I'm old. I played there.. I didn't leave with her, though..

 

[Marshall Arts]

Went out with a girl once. Had a good meal and some drinks and her, alleged, best friend showed up and joined our table. And they were all "Oh, I love you, girl! Best friends for life" blahblah. I'm quite good at reading people. Eyes, body language, posture, hands etc. Something about their dynamic seemed odd to me. Then her friend left and I made a comment about her friend. "She seemed nice. Have you been friends for long?"

Her reply was pretty confirming on my hunch. "Oh, no! She's not my friend! She's a real b***h! I just pretend to be her friend!".

Psycho alert! I never spoke to her again. When she showed her "friend" that level of disrespect, how am I any different in her book?

 

[Sapient]

Went out with a girl once. Had a good meal and some drinks and her, alleged, best friend showed up and joined our table. And they were all "Oh, I love you, girl! Best friends for life" blahblah. I'm quite good at reading people. Eyes, body language, posture, hands etc. Something about their dynamic seemed odd to me. Then her friend left and I made a comment about her friend. "She seemed nice. Have you been friends for long?"

Her reply was pretty confirming on my hunch. "Oh, no! She's not my friend! She's a real b***h! I just pretend to be her friend!".

Psycho alert! I never spoke to her again. When she showed her "friend" that level of disrespect, how am I any different in her book?

Hell with respect. Did you get some trim?

 

[Marshall Arts]

Hell with respect. Did you get some trim?

 

[MarshallDog]

Hell with respect. Did you get some trim?

I like your thinking...show her respect when you walk her to the door!!

 

[Sapient]

I like your thinking...show her respect when you walk her to the door when finished...boom!!

Yup. After the whoopie it seems they can't leave soon enough. After making you a pot of coffee of course.

 

[Matthews Guitars]

Let's just say that sometimes people's online profile is pure fiction.

Honestly, she looked OK in her profile photo. Which was taken 20 years and 150 pounds ago.



Well...OK, might as well at least go through the motions, right? (But horizontal mambo was never a consideration!)

I let her pick the movie.

Ever heard of a movie called "Silent Hill"?

Well...you aren't missing much. It's trash. Based on a comic book horror story, so I learned later. Easily one of the two worst movies I ever saw.

And that was the best part of the evening!

I'm driving her back to her place and the mopotamus fouling up my car's seat reaches out to stroke my right hand while I'm shifting gears and I instinctively pulled my hand back,
but when she complained that I was rejecting her I politely said that no, I was just shifting gears. I need my right hand TOO when driving a manual transmission.

I sorta figured it'd go this way when she asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee. Her coffee maker looked like it had been in continuous use since the Ming dynasty, never washed
a single time. It was so encrusted you could barely tell if there was coffee in it or not.

Well...it could have been worse. No violence, no involuntary organ donations, no coercion, no display of weapons, and best of all, NO CLOTHES WERE REMOVED TO REVEAL WHAT LIES BENEATH.


I was very glad to end that "date" with absolutely no intent whatsoever for a second one. Not with THAT.

 

[saxon68]

Let's just say that sometimes people's online profile is pure fiction.

Honestly, she looked OK in her profile photo. Which was taken 20 years and 150 pounds ago.



Well...OK, might as well at least go through the motions, right? (But horizontal mambo was never a consideration!)

I let her pick the movie.

Ever heard of a movie called "Silent Hill"?

Well...you aren't missing much. It's trash. Based on a comic book horror story, so I learned later. Easily one of the two worst movies I ever saw.

And that was the best part of the evening!

I'm driving her back to her place and the mopotamus fouling up my car's seat reaches out to stroke my right hand while I'm shifting gears and I instinctively pulled my hand back,
but when she complained that I was rejecting her I politely said that no, I was just shifting gears. I need my right hand TOO when driving a manual transmission.

I sorta figured it'd go this way when she asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee. Her coffee maker looked like it had been in continuous use since the Ming dynasty, never washed
a single time. It was so encrusted you could barely tell if there was coffee in it or not.

Well...it could have been worse. No violence, no involuntary organ donations, no coercion, no display of weapons, and best of all, NO CLOTHES WERE REMOVED TO REVEAL WHAT LIES BENEATH.


I was very glad to end that "date" with absolutely no intent whatsoever for a second one. Not with THAT.

Yeah I did one of those online dating sites and same thing, picture was 15 years and 5 kids old.

she brought a friend also. I was polite, bought dinner for both, and when her friend said she was going to step aside for a bit so we could be left alone I said no need, shook the dates hand and left.

I really should have said hell no and left before then, should have whipped out the picture and said no match no date, false advertising.

 

[MarshallDog]

Wow, after reading your experiences here, I guess I am dam lucky that I never really had any bad first dates other knowing it was a waste of time because I just was not interested. Something just turned me off about them and I never called them back. Although we all like to get some action on the first date being men and all, every time I got action on the first date I hardly ever called them back just because I thought they were sluts, but not that I am older I want to kick my own ass for not continuing, what was I thinking

 

[EndGame00]

First real date when I was 16, I just got my DL, borrowed my brother's car and took my date to a nice Italian restaurant... Everything was going fine until I told a joke... She laughed so hard that something moist landed on my hand.... I excused myself to go the bathroom... It wasn't a spit..... It was a booger that flew out of her nose and hit my hand....

 

[crossroadsnyc]

How about the date who keeps her politics a secret until you meet in person, and before the first drink is even served, she launches into her political tirade/questioning. That's fun. For the record, I've cut short dates with people from both the left & the right, so this is not a political post. The shortest of them? I cut it loose before the first drink was even served. I ran to the bar, canceled the drink, and left.